the heteroromantics: we’re not going to have sex after our wedding
literally any priest: i didn’t ask but good for you?
This was taken entirely out of context, how are you people not seeing that. “If that were true,” meaning “if this thing you said existed, which I am saying hypothetically, then this would be the hypothetical thing that would happen. Hypothetically.”
Besides, do you realize how much pressure there is to have sex if/when you’re married? Forget the priest, just in general. We’re constantly getting badgered for “so when are you giving me grandkids? what do you mean you don’t have sex? he’s going to leave you. stop being selfish. it’s not that bad. calm down. you’re being rediculous. just close your eyes and relax. are you okay? are you getting a divorce? if you really loved them you would have sex. you should go to marriage counseling. just get it over with. oh please, you’ll change your mind once you do it.” etc etc.
And if you’re lucky enough to not experience that, there’s still the possibility that your spouse will pressure into you, if not force you, into something you don’t want to do. And there’s still the possibility of them getting tired and leaving you.
And anyway, even if they don’t say anything, I’d bet money that a priest/clergyperson would at least be thinking about the ~consumating a marriage~ because that’s God’s will and shit.
Also, unconsummated marriages could potentially be grounds for annulment, depending upon the judge you get in the case. And just read through this site and it’s comments to get a good view of what we might go through if we don’t want to sleep with our spouses.
All of this talk of “no one cares that you don’t want to have sex.” and “it’s no one’s business how much sex you do or don’t have” is completely missing the point and only serves as an attempt to demean us and minimize our struggles.